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  • Writer's pictureShelby Payne

Forever Home: Round 2

Yup... we are leaving our forever home for another one and I've got some feelings about it. Let's debrief.


painting brushes

Growing up we moved around quite a bit. And by a bit, I mean a lot. Not from town to town, we were lucky to be able to grow up roaming around the same town and with the same friends, just house to house.


At no fault of her own, my mom was a single, working mom of three young kids and to save enough money to buy a house was a stretch for a long time, so we rented. And with renting comes the obvious struggles of small-town slim pickings and the urge to upgrade when something better becomes available. Pick the upgrade, obvi.


When I was later in my high school years, my mom was able to buy a cute little house and I remember being so thrilled to paint my room purple. Thankfully, my tastes have since changed, but I had to go through a few phases of red and lime green first. Oyyyyyy.


Anyway, not the point...


Moving a lot in my childhood left me feeling unsettled


As your typical small town teenager does, I wanted to get out and get to the city, real quick. But just a few years later, I had absolutely no idea where I wanted to take my education and felt the need to return home. My boyfriend (woah, that sounds weird now) who had moved away with me initially, was already back home in a permanent job placement, so we moved in together... again.


I'm talking about Mike here, people. G-damn, we've been together forever it seems.... One day soon I will do some intros so we can get to know each other better since at this point, I am assuming you all know us pretty well.


Anyway, back to the story... [Cue speed 2.5x]


There, we would get engaged, married, and have our first daughter. Regardless of the special memories we made there, we knew it wasn't where would stay forever. We flipped the house on a small budget and then our forever home came up for sale.


Our dream of hunkering down to raise our family was happening.


Roots. I could finally plant the roots that I had been picking up to carry around for so long.


We found acreage, privacy and were able to undergo a major renovation to make the house into a home that would suit us forever. Not only had my shiplap dreams come true (I still love you, Joanna Gaines), but my mission to have my kids live their entire lives in one house was becoming a reality.


Better luck next time


One day while out for a drive along one of the many lakes in our area, Mike and I talked about how nice it would be to have the lake in our backyard. Maybe we'll buy a cabin one day.


My in-laws live on a lake not more than 5 minutes from our house and the neighbours had been talking off and on about moving one day, so while we were out I texted my MIL (that's mother-in-law, folks) and joked that they should probably buy the neighbours house and we could move in to theirs.


As expected, it was a hard no. They loved their house, what could possibly would make them want to leave it? We moved on and never gave it another thought.


"We've been thinking..."


A few weeks later, my MIL came knocking on my office door (we work together) asking if we would actually entertain this little house hopping idea. Ummmm, maybe? With nerves sky-high, we battled with pro/con lists for what seemed like an eternity.


Some considerations we pondered were harder to get past than others. Things like:

  • Trading privacy for a neighbourhood

  • Downsizing regardless of another baby soon to join our family

  • Leaving our open concept space for something that could never be (due to structural restrictions)

  • Losing the bush and gaining the lake

  • Moving is a major b*tch, especially with a new baby

  • Would moving into what's always been Mike's parents house ever feel like OUR home?

You better believe I even pondered the "replaceable" things like faucets and fixtures as if they could be a deal breaker. I'm weirdly obsessed with door handles and light fixtures, ok? Fortunately, all that can be changed to make it our own style, and luckily this is not a fixer upper, it's actually a really cute little house that was totally gutted not too terribly long ago.


A few (hundred) conversations later and our house was on the market. Not long later and it was sold. Then that fell through and it was sold again. And now it's REALLY sold.


We've sold our forever home and it's bittersweet.


Ultimately, what we are giving up will be replaced with daily summer splash sessions, sunset dinners on the deck, getting cozy with the five of us, neighbourhood friends... and my in-laws within earshot of my yelling. But we will really miss this place. Long story short, we are all excited to make this house our home and embrace this new chapter with open arms.


The concept of a forever home doesn't feel the same for me now that I've had so much time to reflect on it. Growing up, most of my closest friends fit the classic "nuclear family" bill and it was something I always compared my situation to. This was the ideal situation that I needed to live up to. I've since realized that we are really adaptable as human beings and all kinds of realities are beautiful. Oddly enough, we've arrived to a point in time where the family situations I used to envy are most definitely not the norm. And who wants to be normal anyway.

The fact of the matter is that sure, the house will probably stay the same, the drive from work will always be the same, the smell when I walk through the door will always be the same, but everything else will always change. Every day our kids will get a little older, the shoes by the door will grow a little bigger, and the house will slowly get quieter. So, in an effort to stop controlling the uncontrollable and realizing that roots are found in much more than the physical homes we live in, I will quote every persons wedding song between the years of 2014-2017,


"Home is wherever I'm with you."


Yes, it was my wedding song too.



xo Shelby

Opmerkingen


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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I'm Shelby. I started this blog to document our family of five as we make the move to our forever home on the lake (from what we thought was our forever home). I'm a Mom of three spunky littles and have been married to the dude I've been with since I was 14. I've got opinions on lots of things from parenthood, to home decor & DIY's, to beauty products. Follow along, will ya?

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